School of Movement Medicine - Mindfulness in Motion

Back to contents

Issue: June Newsletter
Child Soul Dream

By Anusia
Dear Community, Roland gently invited me to share my experience about my first benefit event to raise money for Manari and Belen's travel to the long dance and for the Pachamama Alliance (50/50). The event was an amazing kick-off event and raised 705.- Swiss francs, with more money still coming in, which feels like the warm sweet echo of the energy we created.

I thank all my friends and beings who supported me in this and who donated through money, through prayers in the dance and through being part of it in different forms and shapes!

From the moment (a month ago) I decided to set this up, I had this strong feeling of reconnection and renegotiation of the 'lost' *child soul dream* in me.
This *child soul dream* was alive exactly 21 years ago when I was about seven years old. I had a difficult time then, with lots of crying in the nights. I felt a overwhelming pain and suffering, especially about the rainforest being destroyed! This pain was very big. Yet, out of it emerged many creative and sweet things, one I remember the clearest was: walking around on the streets and in school collecting signatures on pieces of paper where was written something like 'save the rainforest' – 'save the dolphins & whales'. I was so enthusiastic and convinced that THIS would CHANGE the situation! There was no doubt about it. But then one day, I was told by some adult(s) (only a vague memory) that this would help nothing and would make no change at all! While writing this now, I remember a little more now of this complete knock-out of my *child soul dream*! It was completely devastating! Something collapsed and shut down in me.

So yesterday, on Whitsunday, the day arrived where I could readopt my *child soul dream*.
During the last weeks I often experienced strong fears and doubts around it. The old traumatic experience seemed to knock at my door again!

The event itself was a full success on all levels! My child soul and the grown-up Anusia were so happy! Finally the grown-up Anusia could take this little one by her hand, standing and manifesting together – hand in hand!

What a great shift and biiiiig relief!

Yet, one day later, something quite shocking and destructive happened. It was like the old experience of being devastated/destroyed would want to heal and be renegotiated as well!

I got an email from a good friend of mine, who wrote something like (short version): "How dare you to do a benefit event for Pachamama Alliance, while you yourself have a car and fly with the aeroplane …. are you off one's head, are you insane??"

My first reaction was close to a nervous breakdown! My pulse was accelerating and I had a feeling of being hit strongly in my stomach. After breathing and grounding myself back into normal pulse and through the amazing support of my partner with whom I could differentiate so well all the different parts in this event, I realized again, how amazing the life intelligence is. Traumatic experiences want to be released and life provides us so gracefully with situations where we can find the way out of Trauma! But in order to do so, you need to be soooo awake, aware and conscious about what is going on! I almost went into the repetition of re-traumatising my child soul but through the persistent company of my partner and my own severe discipline that the grown-up Anusia would hold the reins THIS TIME, my child soul remained safe! AND it stayed with me and didn't leave me again!!!

What a powerful test – just after being reborn and only one day young!

The grown-up Anusia is NOW protecting this delicate *child soul dream* – with clear and firm boundaries, so this dream can continue to grow into its full potential!

Thank you for being my witnesses!

I wish for all your beautiful *child soul dreams* the courage, strength and a lot of grown-up support, so that these parts in us can be fully expressed with roots down deep into the soil of reality and branches high up into the heavens where there are unlimited possibilities of miracles to happen!

Anusia ° White Hawk touches the Earth

Back to contents

The views expressed here do not necessarily represent the views of the School of Movement Medicine. Roland Wilkinson, Nappers Crossing, Staverton, Devon TQ9 6PD, UK Tel & Fax +44 (0)1803 762255 http://www.